Love doesn’t always conquer all, and maybe it shouldn’t. Sometimes a healthy support system and properly set boundaries are more valuable than the rom-com-style burning passion we see in movies.

If you’re considering filing for divorce, it helps to engage in divorce mediation services to keep negotiations civil. Counsel can help you work through a legal separation agreement in a more objective way, as the paperwork is often just added stress to an already difficult situation.

Divorce is not something to be ashamed of. Contrary to public and stereotypical opinion, getting a divorce from a marriage doesn’t necessarily equal failure. People outgrow each other all the time and a marriage partner is no exception. In fact, if you’re aware enough to know that your chemistry isn’t there anymore or that your goals/visions don’t align like they used to, it can be a healthy and empowering decision. This doesn’t make it hurt less, but properly organizing your assets and engaging with productive professional help can ease the process, and even protect what remains of your family’s relationship.

Why do the tabloids focus so much on celebrity divorces? It seems like it only takes a few weeks for a marriage to be “rocky” and for one party to be “unhappy and walking on eggshells.” Of course, those infamous marriages measured by hours or days only serve to encourage tabloids, and to make high-profile marriages seem fake from beginning to end. And this way of thinking seems to have worked its way down to even the most average of marriages. It’s all too common for acquaintances of newly engaged couples to make bets on how long they think a marriage will last — if the engaged couple even makes it to the altar. There are always reasons why a marriage shouldn’t work, or isn’t expected to work. And it feels great for these couples, being the butt of the jokes one too many times, to tie the knot and show the world that they can make their marriage work. That love is stronger than distance, career choices, or the amount of money in a bank account.

But what happens when a marriage like this just starts to fizzle out? You had a good run, and nothing bad happened, but something happened and the two of you just grew apart. You hate admitting it to all those people who knew it wouldn’t last (although you do feel satisfied that it lasted longer than any of them predicted). Separation and divorce — no matter where you are in the world today — are generally viewed as a failure. As something to be ashamed about. There are a lot of emotions at play when you come to a decision like this, and embarrassment, when confronted by others about it, is quite common.

Let’s be honest for a few minutes. There’s no reason to be embarrassed. People grow apart, and sometimes getting a divorce is in everyone’s best interest. At the same time, there’s no need to create drama if it isn’t there. It’s okay to find a couple of good divorce lawyers and complete the paperwork without yelling. It’s okay to work out a custody agreement for your children without having to find a separate child support attorney. It’s okay if your main concern is finding an affordable divorce attorney, rather than one who will “fight for you.” Most importantly, it’s okay to not feel like you need to watch The Notebook with a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates because you need to be sad.

Love happens, and separation happens. There’s nothing “shocking” about it. There’s nothing shameful about it. There’s no reason to go to therapy if you don’t need to, and there’s no reason to pay thousands of dollars for the absolute best divorce lawyer in the country. There’s no reason you should feel compelled to explain yourself to other people when, quite frankly, it’s none of their business and you know, they never actually thanked you for being invited to your wedding anyway. You have every right to find a divorce lawyer who will give you the help you need, without creating more financial problems or dramatic scenes. And you know what? It really isn’t that hard to find a good divorce lawyer at all.
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